The past few days, I have felt a Mind Shift happening in me...
I'm not sure if it's a good shift though either... because largely, it makes me feel sad, a little negative, borderline a little angry. Even stronger, a feeling of just Disappointment, towards people I've held onto, and cared about.
This Mind Shift that I feel is happening is that I'm starting to feel like I no longer need to explain myself anymore... Especially, to people who I care about, have cared deeply about... people who should Know Me, but seemingly, they don't. And, as Disappointing as it is, maybe... they never have.
Of course, this comes days after I've obsessively and erratically been, Explaining Myself. Not just the past few days, but honestly... most of my life.
I have nothing to prove... You either Want Me, you either Value Me, my Time, my Efforts, my Loyalty, Dedication, Hard Work, and my Heart... Or, you don't. I'm starting to realize that there is NOTHING I can say or do that is going to change some peoples mind, or... spring them into Action...
...so, why bother?
Focus that Energy on people who are I guess, easy to Convince... that they don't need a 41 year History of Roy Keck to know I've suffered in silence, I've not had things easy or handed to me, that I've had to rebuild myself more than once. They can just see it, and I don't have to explain anything...
Or - perhaps, maybe I can Focus that Energy on Myself for once...
I don't know if this is a good Mind Shift, it doesn't feel great if I'm being honest. But, it's happening. Good or Bad. And with me not feeling I need to explain myself anymore, it wastes less time... and that, I think is a Good Thing that I am going to try and develop and Embrace further.
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