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Well... we say Goodbye to 2023, and bring in the New Year 2024.

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2023 was an interesting year...

• I graduated from Davis Tech on a Cybersecurity Certificate.

• I gained my Security+ Certification this year too.

• Started my Dream Job with a Company that I had a very high interest in! That experience has mostly been positive and exactly what I wanted!!!

• Moved into an Apartment.

• Learned alot... about myself.

• Learned alot about the people I have kept in my Circle... Good, and Bad.

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Mostly though, that was stuff towards the early party of 2023... the rest of this year was mostly me just ... Consolidating some, taking care of my Mental and Physical Health.

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Had some Health issues that popped up, and largely I think I found what I needed to provide me some relief. Started seeing a Chiropractor, had a few Surgeries, and all in all... Physically, I feel pretty good.

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On the Mental front, eh... not quite exactly where I hoped to be. At times I felt like I was just a zombie going through the muscle memory motions... but I think after some reflections, I don't think that was it at all. I truly believe that this year, I just... did alot of Pausing. Looking around, seeing whose IN and who ISN'T. Or, who pretends to be IN and who really is... I think Pausing can "Look" like it's just going through the motions, it's boring to some degree, you don't feel like you're making Progress, or moving forward, even feeling maybe "Stuck". I've been there before though, so I think I know what that looks like... and this maybe wasn't that... I think just trying to take it day by day, Pausing, Reflecting, Consolidating, it's just... stress free, not chaotic, you build a Routine, it's not that Exciting when you find yourself ... Settling In. So maybe it wasn't all bad...

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I also paid attention and focused on the Actions of people around me, less of their Words.

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More importantly... I just tried to take each day separately and just be In the Moment. With myself, or Friends, Family... trying not to get too high, or too low Emotionally, Mentally. 

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After a bit though, I found myself seeking those Temporary comforts of going to the bar, mingling with people who I thought were friends. Playing Pool. Enjoying myself... there would be days I would get a little to lose as I was developing new boundaries, and limits.

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All in all, I think I made it through that Phase well... though, what unfortunately also happened is I lost more people from my life. People who I thought gave a damn, didn't. People who I thought could be cool, weren't. I don't blame "People" per say, I blame my choice of Environment to establish Connection... You're not going to establish Connections in a bar... I know that, now.

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I guess I'm still learning, working on myself, still trying to be comfortable with my own company.

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Looking forward to 2024 honestly... haven't really felt super Positive about a New Year, in a long long time. I feel really good about this year though. I do think, as cliche as it may sound - this 2024 is going to be my year. It's going to be a start of seeing all the work I put in on myself, Mentally, Physically, and rebuilding a Foundation with my Career, and Finances... that 2024 will be, my best year... That this year will be the first of many to come where I will start actually Living Life, and... enjoying it.

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Where I was this time last year, it was tough... I had Graduated, completed all my requirements, got myself ready for a good Upgrade Career Wise... and it didn't come quite when I thought it would. And, I got down, got worried... it did eventually come through. There were alot of other things that didn't go according to plan as well... people who I thought would be there to celebrate with me, weren't. Alot of my Reasons were turned up side down and I wasn't really feeling proud of what all I had accomplished from 2022 heading into 2023. It still felt like a Mountain of work to do... and, I just had alot of doubts, disbelief, disappointment in me at the start of 2023.

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So... wrapping up 2023, I think one thing I have learned though... may be, Patience. Timing. Going into 2024, I'm just going to continue to take things one day at a time, try and be patient, try not to get too ahead of myself. Try to figure out this feeling of being lonely at times... and just continue what I was doing from last year. With some adjustments...

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As far as the loneliness... it's not so much that, it's just... when I started all this Growth, and rebuilding my foundation... I did it in mind that it would be with Someone. I planned to open this to someone and share it... and that just doesn't seem like that part has come together. In fact, the total opposite seems to have come to the front... that 2024 will be my best year, but... it's going to continue to be a SOLO Act.

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And, I guess, I'll be ok with that.